Where Do I Begin?
by alexhu'15
Summary: This is a post season three finale story. This is Sara's reactions and thoughts on leaving with Neal and Mozzie. Of course while this is a Sara-centric story Neal and Mozzie have their appearances.
1. Chapter 1

**This is the first story I have ever really published and written in its entirety so be warned. :) I also proofread it a few times so hopefully I caught everything. **

**For the disclaimer, none of these characters are mine they belong to USA's show White Collar and their producers and creators. So thanks for the inspiration. **

**This is post season 3 finale. It's Sara's point of view on running with Neal and Mozzie. **

Where do I begin? Oh yeah, Caffrey. The conman, who, as cheesy as it sounds, stole my heart the moment he set up our first date. That's why here we are sitting together on an island, god knows where because Mozzie won't give me an exact location, just enough to know that Neal couldn't be extradited from here even if the US tried.

I have to admit, when Neal barged into my office that day, a mere month ago, my life sure has gotten a lot more interesting. I don't know what possessed me to say yes when he asked me to run with him. I knew if I ran with him I would be breaking countless laws and essentially giving up my entire life that I built here at Sterling Bosh and in New York, but as he grabbed my hand and led the way, I could do nothing be trust that I belonged right by his side.

To say Mozzie was upset was an understatement for the years. When Neal showed up at my office with his half-cocked plan to just leave he hadn't taken the time to think of how I could even have gotten out of the city as under the radar as they would be able to and in all honestly needed to. I don't know all the details on how they did it but we are on an island for god sakes, I'm sure I will be able to persuade Neal to tell me one day. All I know is that two hours after Neal called Mozzie, I had a passport and a new identity. My first alias and what, Neal apologized profusely for, wouldn't be my last, not for a while at least, until Mozzie could contact his farmer and get me an identity as "real" as theirs.

The travel experience is something that I won't mind forgetting. We took four different planes and then a helicopter, plus countless boat exchanges. Just in that time I had changed my identity a total of six times. Four times with a passport to back up my claim to my ever changing identity and twice on a whim because Mozzie didn't like the dock boy's shirts or our captain's name. Mozzie was constantly busy and irritated, while having to change the plans at the last second to accommodate Neal's plus one. After about the third identity change, I asked to no one in particular if all of the switching was necessary because if running was tiring enough, changing personalities sure made it more tiring. Mozzie spat out a long explanation accompanied with his penchants for distrust and caution about me ruining their perfect untraceable getaway. That precise moment was the first time Neal spoke to us ever since we boarded the first plane.

"Leave Sara out of your blame game. If you want someone to blame, blame me, yell at me, rant to me about all of your annoyance but bottom line you're doing all of this to protect us both and most importantly me. You can board any other plane you want and leave us here. I can handle it Mozzie, if you want out, then go. You have the treasure and I can always find some assets for me and Sara, we'll be fine if you leave. So make your choice. It has to be this way, either you accept that this was my choice and you let go of any misgivings you have with Sara or we separate right now." After a short pause and a deep breath he continued with a much softer, vulnerable tone, "I left everything Mozzie, I was forced to leave my home, my best-friend, my job, my friends, my family… my life. I couldn't leave it all behind or I would be just a shell of Neal Caffrey with a different name. I apologize it had to be this way. Thank you, for everything, but I made my choice, now make yours."

After Neal's response, Mozzie took a few moments to gather his thoughts and apologized to me and Neal because I think he realized that Neal really didn't want this. He made it clear that his place was next to Neal and consequently so, me, now. I can fault him all I like and, oh, do I ever, but he has never been anything but faithful to his best friend. For one of the first times during our running, I felt bad for Mozzie. Neal had just essentially chosen me over Mozzie. Chosen us over the fortune of a lifetime. He decided what dream he wanted, not the living in the clouds dream but the one with a real home and someone to share it with. Both Mozzie and I understood what that meant for Neal, we made a silent vow between the two of us, in that moment, to always strive to give Neal his fighting shot at his dream, no matter what.

Neal was silent the rest of the trip. The only acknowledgement I received that he was still even functioning was when we all had to pass through an airport gate or as Mozzie referred to them as 'checkpoints' and were forced into conversation. Other than those occasions Mozzie did all of the talking for us three. Mozzie and I reached some common ground along the way, we aren't going to be making friendship bracelets anytime soon but we are learning to behave around one another. Small steps.

We arrived to the island, which in all honesty and for lack of better words, was simply amazing. The view was breath taking and it gave me such a stark contrast to New York. Yes, I have traveled to many beautiful places but it is like this place was kept secret from any type of paradise on earth travel book. I'm thinking that's why Mozzie chose such an island and of course as he keeps mentioning the lack of extradition laws. The villa, if you could call it that, more like a palace, was amazing as well. It was so open and airy. I felt truly free.

Neal finally came around a few days later and a few weeks in we all felt somewhat at ease. We all felt a little more like our regular selves. The island was completely ours. There was an island a short jaunt over where we would run into town for necessities and to keep up appearances but for the most part on our secluded island we were just plain old Mozzie, Neal, and Sara. Mozzie was in the process of talking to his farmer and news is, in a few days I'll finally have my "real" identity.

Currently, I'm not sure exactly how I feel about this change. I love it here and I really do enjoy the company and yes, the circumstances could be different but this is what I signed on for when I truly let myself fall for Neal on out first date. I just… I don't know what to do with my time or my life right now…

So where do I begin? Oh yeah,

"Caffrey…"

**The end, TBC, I don't really know. We'll see. I hope you enjoyed it. I just wrote this in between classes today, so I agree it may not be well developed or as put together as most stories should be but I guess I always wanted that happy ending with Neal and Sara and I haven't read it yet so I made my attempt at it. Thanks for reading. If you have any suggestions, critiques, comments, whatever… reviews are most certainly welcome. **

**Much Appreciation,**

**~Alex~ **


	2. Chapter 2

**First let me say thank you to you readers out there. It's really encouraging to see being added as a favorite story/author, especially for my first story. So thank you again! I hope to live up to your expectations. I didn't really know if I wanted to keep going with this story but this new idea just kept knocking around in my brain so I decided to add it. I hope you enjoy it. **

Lennox Parker Montgomery… Lennox Parker Montgomery. I do not look like a Lennox and what type of middle name is Parker? I hate this name and of course Mozzie thinks it's great.

"Lennox. Parker. Montgomery. Seriously, Mozzie, can you ask your name farmer or whoever you have to for a new name?"

"No."

"Please Mozzie." I pleaded.

"No."

"Mozzie, come on. It's a horrible name."

"No."

"Quit saying no!" I was getting so frustrated. If it weren't for our small truce I'd say he was doing this just to get on my nerve.

"No."

"Are you kidding me? Neal! Help me, tell Mozzie to ask for a new name."

"Sara, calm down. I'm not going to ask Mozzie because I agree with him. This name is a good thing for us all. We both think if anyone starts looking for us based on a two male and one female lead then our three names would be at the bottom of their list because Lennox Parker Montgomery sounds…"

"Like a guys name! My point exactly, Neal. I hate it. I can't pull off an identity that I don't feel comfortable with. "

"Sara, Mozzie and I didn't get to pick our new identities out, at first I was reluctant to Victor but I adapted, we both did. I'm sorry I can't give you what you want; it's just not in our best interests. We already took a big chance to contact him again and just to get your paperwork here was risky, we can't do it again. Not right now or anytime soon. "

"Well what I am supposed to do, Neal?"

"Mozzie and I can help you create a personality for her for when we go into town and have to use it, it might even be fun."

Fun… yeah right. Neal was trying to charm me into thinking this whole name fiasco, wasn't exactly that, a fiasco! I am so frustrated with both of them. The only rational thought I have running through my mind is telling me to get out of this house, find a place to sit along the beach, and try clear my mind.

Just the fresh air is enough to calm me down and gather some intelligent thoughts. The beach we're on is white with a tint of yellow giving the sand a very pale tan color, though it's probably closest to white. Neal would probably roll the exact color off of his tongue in a second if I asked, though up until now it hasn't bothered me not to know the exact color. It makes it more exotic for me, I think. The sand is my favorite part of the whole island. It isn't the grainy rough type that every beach seems to have, along with hundreds of small dips to twist your ankles in, no, its entire expanse is smooth and the grains weren't grains at all. It's like I'm walking in the clouds. The pure blue and green water was just another thing that made this island more dream-like. Being able to walk up to the water line and see my own reflection or being able to swim out a ways, look down, and actually see the bottom because of the transparency of the water, is amazing, I can't deny that, but the sand is still my favorite part.

This place is nothing like New York. I would be lying if I said I don't miss it back home. Therein lies my problem, I am still stuck in the mindset that New York is home, where I belonged. I miss it. I miss my job at Sterling Bosch. I wonder how Mr. Bosch, handled the fact that I left without a trace as to where I was going or if I even planned on returning, in the middle of a few open cases nonetheless. Maybe he thought I got a huge lead and had to pack up and leave immediately but then my company cards would have been checked and nothing would have shown up to back up that theory. I wonder If I'll be able to return someday and have my job be there waiting? No, that's ridiculous. For god sakes when I "died" all I got were flowers sent to the funeral home. They will have moved on and the promotion I was on the verge of receiving will go to some idiot who doesn't deserve it. My name will be scratched off of my office doors and my belongings will be boxed up and stored away. People will remember Sara Ellis as the insurance investigator who had a stunningly bright career ahead of her and gave it all up and the tip of a hat and a charming smile.

What about my home? Granted I own it and it's not like I make monthly mortgage payments but the utilities will have to be paid and after a month or two, they'll be shut off. The landscaping will go to hell, the mail will pile up, and the neighbors will notice. Then the city will realize the house has become vacant and my entire house will be boxed up by strangers who have no place there. My belongings will be moved and my home will be gone. If the three of us ever get the chance to return, I won't have a place to return to. Neal will always be welcomed at Junes, we all know that. Mozzie has his weeks' worth of hideouts. But my entire life will be gone. My bank accounts have already been frozen, all forms of insurance suspended, everything I have worked for has been taken from me and all I'm left with is a stupid name that I absolutely hate.

I miss my friends. I miss June. I miss her kind heart always giving me the best advice on how to handle a relationship like the one Neal and I have. I miss Peter and Elizabeth and even Satchmo. Elizabeth and I developed a bond somewhat close to what I imagine my sister and I would have had, had we been given the chance. Elizabeth understood my life and why I did things the way I did, or why I made the choices I made. She always made me see the silver lining in any situation. Always kind with her words and actions but when I needed it, she wasn't hesitant to smack some sense into me. I miss her. I wonder what she thinks about me leaving? I wish she were here to tell me what I should have done or what I should do now, though she probably has her hands full with Peter. God, I miss Peter. Like the sisterly bond El and I had, Peter was like a big brother to me in some sense. Always trying to get me and Neal together, putting himself in clearly uncomfortable situations for the hope that Neal and I would work it out, chastising us like little children with our hand in the cookie jar when we were acting like fools, supporting us and being one of our biggest advocators, understanding my job and the passion I had for it, lending a hand a providing any resource the FBI was willing to share to help me close a case at Sterling Bosch, allowing me to help on FBI cases, or including me into his family. I can only hope the backlash of Neal leaving hasn't ruined his career at the FBI. Peter lost his CI, his partner, but most importantly his friend. Neal has reassured me that Peter gave him the go ahead but I can't help but feel sorry for Peter. Peter stayed. Peter had the courage and strength to stick it out in New York and throughout all of the times Peter has helped me, I left him. I hope he doesn't hate me. I hope none of them hate me for leaving.

I don't know when I started to cry, but all of a sudden the flood gates opened and I couldn't help but to think, "What have I done?"

**So, there it is. What do you all think about it? I really hope I didn't upset anyone with the turn in the story. It seemed like a realistic freak out that any sane person would have their first time leaving their life behind. When I started this entire story I did it so I could see a happy ending with the two, so don't fret. They will have a happy ending, I just don't know how or when. Thanks again for reading. I'll promise to update within the next week or two in the meantime I would appreciate any kind of feedback. **

**~Alex~ **


End file.
